Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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