Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
