he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
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