margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
