She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I'm too high and old for this...
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
