is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
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