1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Randomize
