Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
