Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
