my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
