remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
