This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
