just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
