After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Randomize
