i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Randomize
