She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
