I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
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