I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
