I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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