So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
