Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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