Barsexuality is the new black.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
