Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
