if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
cat food counts as protein by the way
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
