Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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