Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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