Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
