My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
