After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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