If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
