her vagine was all disorganized.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
