tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
