i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
