Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
