the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
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