this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
