My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
