so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Randomize
