so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
