therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i just google imaged poop.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Randomize
