fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
