god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
