I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
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