Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
