Just fell off a train. Bad.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
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