Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
