I wish I could punch you in the face.
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
