Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
