I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
