I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
