Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
