halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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