So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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